September 2017

I love her

14. september 2017 at 22:07 | Attic Monster
I love her.
Like you don't even understand.
I love her with all my heart and soul. I love every single little thing about her. I never believed in love at first sight until I met her. I never believed in soul mates until I met her.
Every time I see her I get the same amazing feeling. It's like my heart is racing faster than the speed of sound, like there's a trillion butterflies in my stomach.
I've never met anyone I have so much in common with. Who likes all the same things as I do, who agrees with me on so many things, who is as weird and crazy as I am. Even our Zodiac signs are the same. I could wait an entire lifetime and even another, and I could never find someone like her.
I see her post all these things on Facebook about wanting a guy who does this or will do that, and I think to myself, "I can do that. I can do that and so much more, if only you'll let me." My last girlfriend treated me so horribly. All I ever did was try to make her happy, and all she ever did was abuse me. Because of her, I was so scared to fall in love again. She made me feel worthless. Like I don't deserve to be loved. I don't deserve to be happy.
But then I met her. And everything changed.
I never felt like that with her. She wasn't constantly judging me. She never questioned me. She just accepted me for who I was. She didn't think I was weak or pathetic for having anxiety. When I started freaking out on that carnival ride, she just grabbed me and held on, and didn't let go. If I wasn't freaking out, that moment would have been pure magic. Nobody had ever done that for me before. Nobody ever treated me like that before, and my last girlfriend sure as hell didn't.
I never thought I'd find someone else. I thought I would never love again. And even if we don't end up together, I'm glad I got to meet her, because she showed me it's possible for me to love again.
And don't even get me started on her body. The sun, the moon, then stars and sky, all fail in comparison to her beauty, inside and out.
I don't care if she might have a have a little belly fat or a few more curves than she wants. To me, she is the personification of beauty. She is so amazing and perfect in every way possible.
Maybe she isn't exactly perfect to others, but to me, her imperfections are what make her perfect. I wouldn't want her any other way.
And that voice!
She sounds like Gods favorite angel singing from up above.
I know she's had a rough past. She's gotten caught up with guys who didn't treat her right. I've been there myself. I just want to take the pain away from her. I want to show her that there are still people out there who will treat her right. I wanna do everything with her. I wanna take her out and go on an adventure with her. I wanna share my food with her, fall asleep on the couch in our pajamas while watching our favorite movie, I wanna get in stupid little arguments like which character is better or other stupid things like that. I wanna stay up past midnight and have deep conversations with her under the stars. I wanna take her to the zoo or the aquarium and watch her watch the animals. I wanna do all the cute little things with her. I wanna fall in love with her.
But who am I?
I'm just some random guy. Nothing more than a friend. I don't deserve her.
She's an incredible person who will do incredible things one day. She doesn't need me dragging her down. I don't know this other guy. But she likes him. He makes her smile, he treats her right, he makes her happy. And all I want is for her to be happy. I care about her more than I care about myself. So as much as it kills me, as much as it hurts (and it really hurts. Oh God does it hurt), I'm gonna shut my mouth, fight back the tears, force myself to smile, and sit there and watch her be with him, because it makes her happy. It's the hardest and most painful thing I've ever had to do in my whole life.
And besides, if he makes her so happy, who am I to interfere?